Extreme Inter-caste Marriage

One of the best things I like about my past, which is being grown up in Bal Mandir; is that here people go for extreme inter-caste marriage. Nothing airy about any caste system, which is so deep rooted here in our society. Nothing is spoken about and in surface label some even say it really does not matter in toady's society, but when it comes to close association the real picture looms large.

When Basant Khatiwada, was gushing about his girl Sarita Tamang. His skinny and bonny face had such a glow and his eyes was beaming and that smile on his face was some thing like a kodak moment which stayed in my mind forever. Later they got married.

Basant Khatiwada, was living with his old mother and I figured at that age people are very rigid on inter-caste marriage and might bar her youngest son to tie the knot with a Tamang girl. I think it was not just the inter-caste; it was extreme inter-caste marriage. That is why, it was a pretty good surprise for me.

Nicolas Thienbaut was adopted by a French couple, when he was only four months old.People here still remembers him as Chudamani Neupane, which I find very strange. When he grew up; he made up his mind, and announced it to his parents that one day; he will go back to Nepal and will marry a girl from the same orphanage, he was adopted. On 2004, when he visited Bal Mandir, there he met Pramila Harijan, who then was working in the library. he picked her up as his life partner and they courted only about a month during his regular visits to Bal Mandir during that time.

I do remember, when Pramila and her two siblings [she has one elder sister and other their younger brother], were admitted in the Bal Mandir, some staff members especially cooks; who were bahuns, forbade them to enter in the kitchen. I don’t exactly remember those four cooks real caste, but we used to call them ‘baje’ for they being bahuns. Here, in our society; bahuns regards themselves, very superiors and at times their talks can be intolerable, due to their superficial talks and attitudes, as for they belonging to this particular caste and they are superior than others and brainy and blah blah. Especially, they use that kind of attitudes to make other caste feel very inferior in front of them. I am sure its just the mind game which they indulge so much.

Its okay, to be proud of ones caste or community, but using the same to make others feel inferiors, it should never be accepted.

These three were not allowed to enter in the kitchen and anybody, whoever saw them, stopped them with harsh words and manners, to enter inside the kitchen. Because Harijans, are regarded as untouchables here in Nepali society. Some staffs did not spoke about it but yet they followed the rule strictly, without verbalising it by not drinking the water they touched. Apart from that, they were also not allowed to touch water tanks.

Pramila, sure has a reason to smile ear-to-ear, when she married a bahun guy by birth. Although, Nicholas no longer uses his biological surname which is Neupane, instead he keeps the surnames of his french parents - Thienbaut, as he was adopted by a french family. Today they are Nicholas and Pramila Thienbaut.

Damu Sherpa and Suman Dahal, both are from Bal Mandir. Suman was adopted by French family once he completed his SLC here and Damu had a Belgian foster parents but remained here in Nepal. When both of them completed their studies, they got married a couple of years ago and now they have two young children. It was also an inter-caste marriage.

I do remember Suman’s uncle, Shankar Lamichane, who was the accountant in the NCO, was shocked to learn that we eat buff once a week. He could not take it any more that his nephew and nieces are eating buff, which is regarded only the lower caste people eat. He tried so hard that we stated eating mutton after his intervention.

When people grow up in mass, surrounded by all kinds of caste; it gives us a chance to see each other from very closely that caste system or having superior attitudes about cast has skin deep reality. Generalising people by caste is based on false preconceive notions. For a real good heart, one does not have to belong to one particular caste group. Intelligence, manner, brilliance and behaviour does not belong to any particular caste or community. Such believe is only doll drummed in the ears of people from the very young age, which became a believe as they grow up.

If you know them very closely and know so many inside stories of various caste people, such believe, hold by some, so called high caste people, will be shattered and then the result will be extreme like this, inter caste marriage. All of them are happily married.

It feels good to say that I know all these people except, Nicolas Thienbaut. Its a nice and heart warming feelings. This kind of marriage will always warm my heart.