Not Expected At All ?

Sometime ago one friend here on my Facebook circle, was nagging on her status for she  being expected too much, than she could actually deliver. Then, my response was, it's ok when someone expects something from you, think about the one when someone is not expected at all ? Then I thought the second option is more worse than the first one.

But, now I understand, why she was perplexed, when she was expected too much from her loved ones. The reality show I am addicted to watch on my TV, helped me to understand it, a lot better way than I thought I could. Recently, I have been addicted to watch crime show. Interestingly, not everytime it comes about the person who tends to commit crime for are from the criminal background. How come people from a decent family also can find themselves in police station ? It so happened that, a young school girl  committed suicide. As for me, ‘why’ is the most important part of watching it anyway.

Zia, was the only daughter and youngest one in her family. In fact, her family was very small anyway, she, her older brother George and their parents. Her brother was bright student and doing good in his work due to his good marks at school. So it was natural for her father to push Zia, to go for good percentage.

She herself was a very bright student, third in her class with 89% and was studying in class 10. But her father seeing tremendous potential in her, started pushing her to get better than, that much percentage. At one point, he wanted her to promise, to get 98% in the final exam. That 89% was just not enough for him.

Despite being a bright student, Zia, was a very good painter also but that was not good enough for her father; who was being very pushy for her to get more percentage after every exams. When it became more unbearable for her to take it anymore, one day she committed suicide. Before committing suicide, she wrote a letter to her brother and father. “..... I am so sorry I could not fulfill your expectations. I can face death but do not have courage to face you if I won't make that 98%........”

Even after the death of his only daughter, father did seemed lost and shocked,  yet he was saying, “she had tremendous potential to achieve the highest percentage and I was only encouraging her”, just stunned me.

While I was growing up in Bal Mandir nobody expected us to get this or that much percentage. No one encouraged us to go for this or that. All we were expected was to pass, good mark or bad hardly mattered. At some point of life, I thought that was bad condition. I was average student with just ok marks on my sheet that declared me pass with good marks not so flying colors and not so worse. But if it had been fallen in the hands of Zia’s father he would have gave me good complex for no reason at all.

My God, I was never ever, even remotely close to that kind of percentage in my life; the one Zia used to achieve. What I did not realized was; too much expectation is just too much to bear. When no one expects anything from me, what I can and how much I can achieve. It means a total freedom to do with all my power. Even when I was in College, I was never ever expected to achieve this much percentage. Thanks to Bernhard, he was so supportive during my college days. I remember him saying at one time, “marks can be very decisive” and I did kept that line in my mind for as long as I can remember. When I see this Zia’s story on TV then value of Bernhard, his role and importance in my life for not forcing me to do beyond my capacity, became more clear. Now, I understanding the value of not expected does not mean you are not loved but let your wings spread beyond the limit in the long run.  

Sometime we just have to see others condition to realise how gifted we are in life. Thank you Bernhard, but I guess I need to thank Zia’s father also for making me realise the true value of your importance in my life.