Teenage sex

Its been couple of weeks now, I have been writing about the teen age sex and hyperactive behavior related with teenage sex or sexual activities, which I have grown watching during my time in Bal Mandir. I talked about how hyper the caregiver or the housemothers were and how they treated to those who were considered overtly active in experiencing the feel of the sex at that very young age. At one point it was understandable because that was the time abortion was not easily available nor the other protective methods were available easily in market like today.

Talk of sex has always been regarded taboo [then and now], so there was no talk about it and people always avoided talking about sex. Sex education or awareness about it was unheard of the subjects then. However, people were judged even for showing curiosity in this subject matter forget having affairs with boys. All we have to talk is to turn somebody who were as raw and inexperienced as we are. No good books on this subject were ever handed over to us. Direct physical involvement was regarded as characterless and judged by that one act for entire life. But barring it only added curiosity and some ended doing it secretly, anyway this is very private affair to invade too much in somebody’s private life.

But, it was never about how to educate the young child about sex, or its consequences later on. So, that they could avoid the common trap and mistake, which is faced by every parents in every continent in the world of all generations. Even today prevention from the   consequences of affair is regarded as character issue than mere stupid mistake teenagers are known for.

But here I am more interested to know, are adult always right to presume that teenagers always make mistake or do they have to be hyper reactive and hyper protective about the sexual activities teenagers involve in ? Personally, I think some time they just need to relax and understand the teenagers way of handling it and see how things move ? When they worry about the lack of knowledge in teenagers ? Do they always make the mistake when they tangle in unwanted relationship or . here is what I have learned in my growing years.  Sometimes teenagers do teach us adult lot more than what adult can preach us whole life. Here are two such case.

I remember watching the movie Juno a story of a British teenage girl. It is about a sixteen year old girl’s journey to her pregnancy period and her way of handling the case without any adult helping her to tell her do this or do that. She got pregnant after a playful hour she spent with her boy friend who was as old as she is. They were in the same class.

At the age of sixteen she gives a birth to baby when she herself is a child in every manner but the whole movie tells us more than teenage sex or a mistake that make a girl a mother overnight. Just because a girl becomes pregnant do we have to be hyperactive or judgmental to the cases like this ? Are teenager  in need of help or adult also make the same kind of stupid mistakes all the time, despite their grown body but not developed brain ?

Although, the story of Akash* is a lot different, than that of Juno in the movie. In his teen years and even now, Akash is very much regular guy. I thought, Akash was the type of boy who would marry early in his life and then have houseful of children before the age of forty; or that's what I have the image about him in my mind. He is very jolly fellow like any other guy on the street and very much regular guy. Besides that he used to date with number of girls in his teen years. One of the girl Akash used to date was a girl named Sharmila*, with whom he fell in love.

To me the only unusual thing about him today is, he is still unmarried, which made me very curious about it. I just wanted to know why this jolly fellow is still not married ? Because this is very sensitive issue and very private and personal affair by all means; and at the same time, I do not have habit of poking my nose into somebody else bedroom stories also. But may be luckily, I do have friends, who don't mind digging and sharing private matters with their friends. This also could be the case every best friends have another best friends. However, for this being private affair, It took me more than twenty years to know about the truth.

The truth that really makes us think hard about the teenage sex being just unprotected sex   or fear factor associated with it. Teenage sex is more than curiosity or experience the feel of sex nor it is always stupid mistake. It speaks very much the same language as for the adult and it binds the couple in its power. Its a story of a young couple who were in constant physical relationship during their teenage years. Well, in this case she did end up being pregnant, as he seem to be knowing about ‘safe sex’ at that young age ! Or maybe both of them were sexually literate than others of their age.

After high school, their way got separated and Sharmila have to leave country, while Akash left behind. During the following years they were in constant touch but slowly the communication was reduced to nil. Although, they are not my close friends, but due to the vast  circle friends we enjoy in Bal Mandir, I always have tits and bits of their news in my hand.

In their adult life it so happened that, both of them could not let go of their first love; but, it affected more to the guy than the girl. Just a couple of years before I came to know that Sharmila got married with a foreigner, when she was in her early forty and it was her first marriage. Sad news for Akash, even when she moved on with another man after taking long time to make her mind. He still have not been able to move from his past memories.

Sometimes adult just have to hold the urge to preach and then learn what teenager can teach us with their mistakes.

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* Names changed to protect privacy.
And please read the earlier post to understand more in detail about this post, Fear and Intolerance.