I Selftaught me How to Knit

Rachana my twelve year old niece asked me last year when I visited my brother during dashain, where did you learn knitting ? When I was in Bal Mandir, was my response. How old were you when you learned this, she was curious, I said I was younger than you. By the time I was your age I was already wearing the sweater I made.

Her question sent me back in my memory lane. I remember learning the art of knitting  when I was too young to remember how old I was. As for the needle, we used to use broomsticks in the beginning. Slowly we started using fence wire and then in later years if we were lucky to get the broken umbrella we used to get the straight wire that came from it. Sharpening the sides of needles was hardest task and if its fence wire then straightening it was equally tougher part of it, yet we did it for a simple reason; because we did not have money to buy a needle.

As for the wool, I remember using all thrown wool which came from the room where they made sweaters from machine. or all the used and old wools. There used to be hundreds of knots in one mufflers and and it was not so good looking mix of wool and its combination. It's really hard to remember where all that wool came from when it comes to learning knitting when we were too young to keep safely even our works. It was then when I was under ten. Although, I can't remember for sure, but by the time I was ten I got my needle and then i was making sweater for me.

One thing I remember very clear when all other around me was busy making mufflers and sweater I was busy self teaching me the complex art of perfecting gloves. I had mastered it but not I don't make much gloves as I hardly use it. Mastering how to make glove is one of the toughest work in needle work.

When I grew up [ I was still not in my teen years then]  more, I saw some foreigners coming and teaching a group of girls about fine starting and finishing with some handy techniques to make socks, caps and sweaters along with some good patterns. That changed our entire belief in how to make a sweater. It was really good because I was still young enough to adopt the new ideas and implement it in my knitting works. The old way of starting and finishing sweater was not that fine as much as we knew before those foreigners [ I can't remember whether they were Koreans, Americans or Japanese] came to teach some young girls.  I was not in that group, but I asked them to teach me what they have learned. Good news was one of my best friend was in that group of girl who was in the learning team. You can call it a very good environment to learn, as it had that kind of environment  where everyone taught a skill to all those who were interested to learn it.

The best part of that time was, there was no television, computer or mobile to distract us  when we were learning it. It was just another way to keep us busy, be creative and use our time wisely. It was open for those who wanted to learn it and closed for those who were not interested in it. No one was going to pressure anyone, if you don't like it. And there was plenty of other works to learn if you were not interested to learn knitting. For me knitting was better than sewing or plucking weeds from vegetables gardens.

As I grew up I was more interested in knitting. One day, I found me in a selected group of knitting group, who were polished more to knit sweaters and gloves what used to keep on sale for royal or other influential people of the society during royal visit. During one of those years, I  remember the white sweater I knitted was the main attraction of the exhibition when there was a royal visit. It was kept in the center of hall and when there was royal figure I was pointed as the maker of this sweater [sadly, I do not never how proud I was at that time]. And in another time the baby pink glove I made was selected as a gift for a queen’s birthday. The house mother Kedar Shrestha, who used to run this knitting class after school did not like me much on a personal level, but she simply could not rule me out for my fine hand when it comes to knitting, not even if she wanted to.

One thing is very hard to remember for me is who taught me to put my first loops on broomstick or who helped me to knit first. What was my age when I started learning knitting.  I can't even remember one single answer of all the above questions. I was way too young to remember all this. In my vague memory, I self taught me watching other people knitting. Everyone used to knit during winter time. So, I did it. It was the perfect way to  pass time when there used to be long winter vacation which lasted almost two months. Long winter vacation in a time where there was no Televison, Internet, computer and Mobile to kill time. I am so thankful there was no distraction when I was trying to  learn something useful  art and creative skill.  

Therefore, I think Rachana at thirteen this year, is bit late when it comes to learning knitting. The right time must be eight or seven; Or may be younger than that to start it. Long before we can remember who taught us.  I not remember being super bright as a knitter when I started but I was not super dull at the same time. With some exception there are very few patterns I can't learn fast. Some I never try to learn as it fails to get my interest on it.

But more I Knit more people know me as super talented knitter. I am not talented I am just the one who loves knitting and find more ways to knit fast as well as beautiful work. Knitting is something we can create in hours or a week and then wear it for more than ten years.

Rachana my twelve year old niece asked me last year when I visited my brother during dashain, where did you learn knitting ? When I was in Bal Mandir, was my response. How old were you when you learned this, she was curious, I said I was younger than you. By the time I was your age I was already wearing the sweater I made.

Her question sent me back in my memory lane. I remember learning the art of knitting  when I was too young to remember how old I was. As for the needle, we used to use broomsticks in the beginning. Slowly we started using fence wire and then in later years if we were lucky to get the broken umbrella we used to get the straight wire that came from it. Sharpening the sides of needles was hardest task and if its fence wire then straightening it was equally tougher part of it, yet we did it for a simple reason; because we did not have money to buy a needle.

As for the wool, I remember using all thrown wool which came from the room where they made sweaters from machine. or all the used and old wools. There used to be hundreds of knots in one mufflers and and it was not so good looking mix of wool and its combination. It's really hard to remember where all that wool came from when it comes to learning knitting when we were too young to keep safely even our works. It was then when I was under ten. Although, I can't remember for sure, but by the time I was ten I got my needle and then i was making sweater for me.

One thing I remember very clear when all other around me was busy making mufflers and sweater I was busy self teaching me the complex art of perfecting gloves. I had mastered it but not I don't make much gloves as I hardly use it. Mastering how to make glove is one of the toughest work in needle work.

When I grew up [ I was still not in my teen years then]  more, I saw some foreigners coming and teaching a group of girls about fine starting and finishing with some handy techniques to make socks, caps and sweaters along with some good patterns. That changed our entire belief in how to make a sweater. It was really good because I was still young enough to adopt the new ideas and implement it in my knitting works. The old way of starting and finishing sweater was not that fine as much as we knew before those foreigners [ I can't remember whether they were Koreans, Americans or Japanese] came to teach some young girls.  I was not in that group, but I asked them to teach me what they have learned. Good news was one of my best friend was in that group of girl who was in the learning team. You can call it a very good environment to learn, as it had that kind of environment  where everyone taught a skill to all those who were interested to learn it.

The best part of that time was, there was no television, computer or mobile to distract us  when we were learning it. It was just another way to keep us busy, be creative and use our time wisely. It was open for those who wanted to learn it and closed for those who were not interested in it. No one was going to pressure anyone, if you don't like it. And there was plenty of other works to learn if you were not interested to learn knitting. For me knitting was better than sewing or plucking weeds from vegetables gardens.

As I grew up I was more interested in knitting. One day, I found me in a selected group of knitting group, who were polished more to knit sweaters and gloves what used to keep on sale for royal or other influential people of the society during royal visit. During one of those years, I  remember the white sweater I knitted was the main attraction of the exhibition when there was a royal visit. It was kept in the center of hall and when there was royal figure I was pointed as the maker of this sweater [sadly, I do not never how proud I was at that time]. And in another time the baby pink glove I made was selected as a gift for a queen’s birthday. The house mother Kedar Shrestha, who used to run this knitting class after school did not like me much on a personal level, but she simply could not rule me out for my fine hand when it comes to knitting, not even if she wanted to.

One thing is very hard to remember for me is who taught me to put my first loops on broomstick or who helped me to knit first. What was my age when I started learning knitting.  I can't even remember one single answer of all the above questions. I was way too young to remember all this. In my vague memory, I self taught me watching other people knitting. Everyone used to knit during winter time. So, I did it. It was the perfect way to  pass time when there used to be long winter vacation which lasted almost two months. Long winter vacation in a time where there was no Television, Internet, computer and Mobile to kill time. I am so thankful there was no distraction when I was trying to  learn something useful  art and creative skill.  

Therefore, I think Rachana at thirteen this year, is bit late when it comes to learning knitting. The right time must be eight or seven; Or may be younger than that to start it. Long before we can remember who taught us.  I not remember being super bright as a knitter when I started but I was not super dull at the same time. With some exception there are very few patterns I can't learn fast. Some I never try to learn as it fails to get my interest on it.

But more I Knit more people know me as super talented knitter. I am not talented I am just the one who loves knitting and find more ways to knit fast as well as beautiful work. Knitting is something we can create in hours or a week and then wear it for more than ten years.

My first job for which I was never paid

It seems very obvious that Children home everywhere would like to run some kind of training programs to keep the pre-teen or teen age children busy when they have young brain and very active life. Such training core intention is to focus on life skill, as well as serve the immediate need of the children home. When I was in school I do remember being  part of the the team that used to make all the dresses that children in Bal Mandir used to wear year round.

I used to attend morning school, which was open from six till eleven. There were two other girls in my class and they too used to join me in running machine over, already cut dresses. There was two guys also in our team, so about six of us used to run machine whole day, six days a week from 11:30 a.m. till 5 p.m.  After about 4 p.m. other girls [ mostly] who were in junior classes used to join us and sometimes maybe we could escape for an hour earlier than the regular time. Needless to mention, it was not a paid job but it was something we have to do it compulsory. It was something that was thought by the people in management a must to discipline us also.

We used to make school dresses two pair for each child in a year, one set of nighty, and I think the main part of this whole sewing section was established was to prepare new dashian dresses for all the children. This dashain dress used to distribute with much fan fair. Dress distribution was a part of one of the big day in the calendar of Bal Mandir. A big Royal entourage  used to visit Bal Mandir during the month of Dashain. This day used to be about a couple of days before Dashain and then one of the royal member  used to hand over a packet of dress to each child individually.

With them the whole team of photographer, reporter, media people and other affluent people of the society used tag along to grace the big room, which we used to call ‘Baithak’, where the distribution of the packet of dress used to take place. Such news used to get coverage in   the newspapers in town. It so happens that then there used to be only two national dailies, one is Gorkhapatra which is in Nepali, and another the english daily, The Rising Nepal. Later on the same news also found space in the Nepal Television as prime time news the only television channel of that time. All the event where royal member presence was needed was regarded prime time news.

Bal Mandir also used to run other training programs not just the sewing section. For those who were least interesting in sewing they used to go to do other training like,  some used to run machines that used to make sweaters, some used to run some home made cloth making machine.  The bed sheet those machine made were thick and considered of lower standards even in Bal Mandir. However I do remember using those inhouse product also for some time.

The most boring part of sewing is creating all identical dresses. Recently, I came to know a bunch of college students who stays in hostel here in town. When I see them going to the market buying the same dress that is different only in colors than the other of her friend she just saw wearing this surprise me. Because this is something unusual or unexpected for me to accept it. I had been seen so much identical dresses in my life and that part of my life made me so much abhor for it. When other like it makes me think hard why they don't abhor it ? is not this a first right of a girl / woman to reject the identical dress ?

Uniforms are uniforms, it has  a reason to be the same for all in color.  Majority of the children used to go to school that is within the Bal Mandir premises.  That school used to provide education until the seventh grade and after that we used to go to another school outside of Bal Mandir.

Once we use to go to outside school we were considered big children. Oh ! I mean to say, when we were in the eighth grade we were considered big children. The average age of the eighth graders is fourteen.

Forget about me not liking the process of making identical dresses, whole day, six days in a week, whole year.  Now, I think those time just robbed us our true childhood. It was not fun to do it, but it was a compulsion to do that. Fine, there were no harsh punishment for not doing it but we were not allowed to spend the same time to read or study other things that we were interested.

I think I must have writing in my earlier post that the training of sewing did no help to anyone who left Bal Mandir. I know no one who later on did it for livelihood or as a job.

Here at this point, I think I should mention this one small part here. Every child in Bal Mandir used to have sponsor. Each sponsor used to send some money to support the cost of that particular child so that the child gets full education during his/her stay in Bal Mandir. That money never used to go to the bank directly. Of course it used to be deposited in bank but only after deducting seventy five percent of it. Because that much money was spent  of  the upkeep of the child. Only 25% of the fund used to be deposited in that child's account.

When I was in Bal Mandir there used to be around 200 child. Our sewing section was never a dry area to work. No doubt, it was always a busiest section of the Bal Mandir. I have run shirt, pant, night gown, skirts, Kurta and all yet I have no interest whatsoever in sewing, stitching, sewing machine and making dresses.  

Today, I do not make a single dress for me if I need one. Because, it was not fun for me to make dress it was a compulsion to do so and I did it even though I did not like it. Instead, I choose a thread to make dress for me I mean a wool thread is much more fun a lot creative  to make sweaters for me. However I have to be honest here. One thing is for sure, I like it or not that is not important. We had lots of time when we were young child and all the training whether we need it for life time or not, that is not important. What is important is utilization of precious time busy mind and that's what may be those adults took when they were in a position to take some decision for us.

Woolen Blanket

Truth be told, I am not that comfortable to stay overnight with a friend’s place. It could be my habit or this is something I have hardly done as a child growing up in Bal Mandir. Going out and staying overnight was not the common practice there. It is hard to say why we never spend our night with anyone's place. Is it not sure that, we were not invited or we were not allowed to spend night at our friends place. Couple of years ago, I have been to a friends place for a lunch and something happened  that day which caused me along with other friends of ours to spend night at her place.

That night I was in for a shock, when  she offered me only one blanket to sleep with.  I still remember asking her, just one quilt ? won't it be cold ? Now, it was her turn to be surprised with my question. yes and one will be enough, she responded.  Our bed were prepared on a floor of a room. Four of us slept in a row. Because we were four, so I did not feel that much cold even with only one quilt to cover me for the whole night. Indeed, after some time I even felt hot in the group of people.

Why was I surprised with just one quilt ? Because I never ever settled for just one quilt or blanket to cover me during winter time. Perhaps, it's because when I was growing up in Bal Mandir we always use three blankets to cover us during winter season. Of that three blankets, one was wollen blanket, second a cotton quilt and then the  third one is itchy blanket which we put on top of all. So, when she handed me just one, it was kind of cultural shock for me to believe what she was doing. I have never went to bed with just one blanket to cover me.

As a child, I do not remember other blanket touching my night body, but Woolen blanket, which used to keep us warm. Cotton quilt only worked with woolen blanket but not alone. As far as I can remember, all the two hundred children in Bal Mandir had the woolen blanket on each bed. It was a lot softer and warmer compared to cotton quilt that is widely used here in Nepal in every households.

The knitting of it used to be very basic, even a person who knows basic knitting can make those colorful patches. Each blanket was made with about hundred such colorful patches. Each patches  used to be about 6x8 in size. Then it was neatly stitched. Some of the blanket have properly rimmed from the all four sides and some were left without being rimmed. It was easy to use, fold and then cover in our body. I really don't know, why, I still feel the softness of it after all these years.

The question is who made those woolen blanket ? I just happen to know the answer also and the answer is, jail mates in US made those blanket. I do not remember having two way conversation with anyone about it, but, somehow this line have stamped in my mind. I guess I must have heard two adults talking about it when I was still too young to know the importance of this conversation.

Now, when I am full grown one question bugs me and that makes me  wonder why the jail mates in US has to do the community work for the children in Nepal ?  why do we not have people in our  society who acts responsible for the mess this society face ? and why the people as far as US has to do this for us ?

Could this be our religious believe that bars our people to act responsibly ?

Surprise in the pocket

Nepal is hit by earthquake and now the hard hit victims are facing the brutal cold under the temporary shelter. I have been reading it on facebook coming from  all sides how difficult it's been to those who still could not move in their home after all these months also. I also have been reading that some givers are dumping the clothes in the name of giving.

In recent years, I myself have been through the hard time so It's been so long that I have not been in the position to give my clothes. Earlier than this, if I gave it never went to that far to the unknown people. It was a lot easier to manage my used shoes and clothes. All of it used go to my friends and they never mind when I gave them my used clothes. Honestly speaking, this is my first giving that is going to those whom I do not even know.

As I was packing some give away clothes some childhood memories of mine made me to leave some coins inside the pockets. Luckily when I looked for some coins, I had some so I did that. Must I do it ? that I really don't know, but I like leaving some coins in all the pockets.

Suddenly, that simple act of mine took me to that time when I was a young child and growing up in Bal Mandir. About 200 children have got new coats. that was a donation from foreigners Word coat tells me that it must have been winter time. I must have been too young to remember everything in details but I do have some blurry memory of it and some clear like mirror. As they tried on those coats and put their hands in pockets almost every child started shouting with joy that they have found something inside the pocket. Some children frisked some coin and some even found some rings and necklace inside the pockets. Some were digging deeper in their pockets to find something and there was something in every pockets not to disappoint every child -maybe.

Some of them asked to the room nannies first, with sheer excitement.  The excitement of those were high who had founds some foreign coins and rings and some even founds necklace. Some of it was gold and silver but some of it was pure coated gold. Those who found the rings and necklace now wanted to know whether it was gold or not. Some of the children were confused that, should they trust their nannies, if it was gold or even with house mothers ? Will they get a chance to keep it for them if it was real gold or silver ornaments ?  Some of the children started to rub the pricy metal in their hands fast. They say, if it's gold you can't see the blue marks in your hand. if it was a fake gold then the blue marks can be seen in our palm.

Earier than this, I did not know the easy way to check the originality of gold or silver. Now  after many decades later even writing this makes me smile. Why did I wanted to know it, when I was not even ten years old. These are not the stuff for children but for adult’s pride and prestige or it could be beauty accessories for many of them.

Although, I heard all this but I do not remember how much coin was inside my pocket  and who all got a chance to keep those coins, rings or necklace. I remember Junkiri saying in the later years the house mother, Kedar Shrestha kept some of those pricy ornaments like necklace  and rings but she never returned to the children, who naively had gone to check the originality of it.  At this very moment my mind is racing what color would have been the ginni made ornaments ? Will it leave the blue color in hand or not ?

My give away clothes are gone now and me not being the ornament lover, I didn't have the rings of any kind to leave in the pockets.  Why there was coin in almost every pockets ? It may be the superstition to leave something inside the pockets when we give it out for other but I would like to keep that superstition. Truth be told I am not even superstitious person but when it's harmless like this one what's wrong following it ?

My first Christmas

Christmas is around the corner and suddenly I am flown back in my memory lane of childhood. Its really hard for me to guess my age at this time nor I can remember which class I was in, so that I could have guessed my age. I was in a group of young children to be selected to visit a hotel to the celebrate Christmas party. That’s why I am guessing, I must have been very young to know even the name of the hotel. As for the hotel, I am guessing this must have been the Soaltee Hotel as there is no other hotel’s name is coming in my mind at this moment. Its not that I have not been to all the five star hotels here in Kathmandu, but still the name of the hotel or the place of it, is just not coming clear in my mind. I really don't know why the Soaltee Hotel’s name is coming in my head. Is this the reason the name was mentioned by adults before we went there to celebrate the Christmas ? the reason could be anything.

the main party and the glitter of the hotel and the food platter in front of us is very much blur in my mind nor I do remember for many more years to come. All the fancy things the hotel has organised for the children had nothing to last the memories.  We may have talked about the party and the glitter and the delicious food  we had and place we have been for about a week.

May be it was the concept of the person who really had come to visit Bal Mandir with an idea that this festival and taking out some children with them will bring smile on our face. Strangely though, I do remember the dress I wore, when I went there. I was wearing a two piece striped dress. The stripes were vertical but the horizontal ones. Even more stranger is fact that I also remember the color of the dress also. It was green, light green and the white stripes. It was not even my dress. I have borrowed it from the close friend of mine; which was very common practice when I was in Bal Mandir. Everybody used to borrow dress from each other, whenever we needed to go out.

Its hard to understand why I was not looking for next Christmas party, which is celebrated with such glittery, in a five star hotel and delicious food platter to grace our plate. Why it was not worth remembering and to wait for the next year to come and then again look forward to be taken to a hotel to celebrate Christmas party ? Nah, I really don't remember that part also. Dashain is not celebrated with such glittery environment in five star hotels. Its pure family affairs, but I love dashain and all its aspects. But, as a child what I remember is we always look for so eagerly and intently another dashain to come and celebrate it every year.

Is this call attachment and detachment to ours and theirs national festival ?

Self Respect

Growing up in an environment which is regarded as a deprived children by most people is almost not that important, than; the the one that is associated with mental deprivation of real growth. Trust me, we did not lack food on our plate. There was always food, decent food on our plate than most people thought we could have. If the food was not decent enough to eat, its not that there was lack of money but because there were people who saw opportunity to make money out in the name of the destitute, needy and underprivileged. I hope you must have read my earlier post, Greed has no depth. I may not have been aware of the fact, when I was eating the soggy and smelly rice when I was in Bal Mandir but what Madam Shrestha revealed was shocking to me when I grew up. For that, I have to request you to read that post.

But here, I am not talking what we used to eat and what kind of food we were given to eat. Today when I am full grown, I have no complain to the kind if food we were given to eat during my stay in Bal Mandir. I have learned by now, that we are not what we eat. We are what we think and our thought is shaped by what we read, but how can we change our perception about our-selves when we are surrounded by the very people who are so cozy and comfortable with humiliation and disrespect ? Such was the cultural environment in Bal Mandir.

At some point, I thought that the staff, mainly the junior staffs used to treat us roughly and with so much disrespect, I mean verbal abuse was really really harsh. Now when I look back and travel in my memory lane I came to the age to understand, once we grew up; they no longer needed to treat us roughly. Did I say grow up ? we were we were in our pre-teen years and the teen years it was the children who were using the same kind of language to each others and they did not needed adults to treat us that badly.

In a time when I was not accustomed to the world outside which used word like dignity, self respect, self-worth, confidence, lack of confidence and inferiority complex it was not easy for me to request my friends how to treat me and give me respect. So when one of my friend started feeling comfortable calling me nasty word like ‘Kukurni’, I was totally lost; how to tell her to treat me with respect.

Its not that she was the only one who used to feel at ease using foul nasty words . But for others a stern look and good snap did the work. But this friends of mine was as stubborn as I am, so was not easy to deal with her. To make the matter even worse she was my best friend for long time and was in my class and we had shared the same bench for years. It sure was not easy for me to tell her, how not to feel comfortable to call me with word like ‘Bitch’ !

This is a commonly used word and most of the young girl who heard it, seemed to have no objection but me. This acceptance by many and resentment by minority, which happened to be just me, added her confusion. But I was determined to stop her to call me that word and feel comfortable with it also. So, I stood face to face  with my dear friend  Junkiri to stop her not to call me ‘Kukurni’. I was not in a position not in mental condition to help her understand these things and not to call me ‘Bitch’ ! but she would not listen.  

How can I convince her about all this, when I myself was not sure about how I was expecting her to treat me with respect ? In that condition all I did was to avoid talking to her because more I requested more she felt challenged and then felt easy to call me ‘Bitch’.

Having no option I just  stopped  talking to her. At this moment I really don't know how long  I did not talked to her, but; I do remember long enough to make her realize that I have zero tolerance to this word and not going to be accept it, even it coming from my close friend; who grew up with me and who was my roommate as well as classmate.

Would she have given me the due respect had I told her about the  self-respect, dignity and the self worth ? But the question is how when I myself was not aware of these fancy words. when I was still surrounded by people from Bal Mandir who are alien to such words. But this taught me that we should not wait others to give us respect all the time sometimes we have to set the bar for us and then make them treat us with respect, even if they refuse to do it. All you have to do is to figure it out how !

The storyteller - Dayalu Sir

Dayalu Sir used to teach us Nepali. If I can remember, he was the one who used to teach us Nepali ever since I was on the first grade. However, when the decades have been standing   in my memory block, I am quite not sure. Was he the same person who used to teach us Nepali from grade one to grade seven in a small school; where I studied as a child. It was the time when I was growing up in Bal Mandir.

He used to tell us stories, apart from our regular classes. May be it falls on the shoulder of Nepali teachers to tell us all the stories from around the world. So, no wonder he used to tell us lots of stories. He was a good storyteller and was equally good at giving the character real life with his voice overs; adding value to the characters with various tones in his voice. He had a very loud and distinctly clear voice. This of course, made him our favorite teacher and we students used to feel kind of comfort level with him as there was less pressure to understand the subject and do all the homework book stories. the best part of stories is that we don't have to do homework on it and there won't be a pressure to understand it as the course book needed us to get it. its kind of creative class and we were free to get it as we liked it.

Today, I may not remember about his all the subjects he covered in my lower classes but I do remember his art of storytelling most in the latter years of my time in this school. This means when I was in seventh standard. I remember so many things which he told us then. its really strange given the fact I can't remember the name of my college lecturers, like what is the name of my english or Nepali teacher who taught me in college. not just that, it seems; I can't remember a single name. I hope this is not regarded as disrespect to my college teachers.  

He was most sought after teacher to tell all kinds of stories, whenever there used to be a specific event. He was the one who is needed to tell all that to the entire school students and not just class about every possible given event or culture god or goddess. It could be religious or cultural or a birthday of a famous personality or some anniversary. Mostly those storytelling followed before the day of holiday and it was given a more important to long holidays which are regarded as important to tell the stories to students, about the reason behind it.

There used to be big yard, in the school which I attended. It was mostly used for a school gathering and school functions, apart from everyday’s students to start a day to sing a song before the classes started. The same yard was used to tell such stories. Dayalu Sir, did not needed mike to address an audience which was as big as 800 audience in an open space,  as he could raise his voice to the max as the space needed him to raise it to tell his story.

I do remember people being jam packed in the windows that covered the yard from all sides and not just from a school compound but also from the first floor also. The children from school compound may be the reason that there was not enough seating place where they could stay comfortable in the yard to hear his speech but if the windows were packed from the first floor building, there is no doubt that they were the staff of Nepal Children organization. This school is inside the premises of Bal Mandir like the office of NCO which is the management body which runs the Bal Mandir. This school not only teaches the children from Bal Mandir but also the students from inner cities of that area.

It was the early 80s time, not the time like today where there is power point, computer, YouTube or television easily available to get busy our students and the facts and story download instantly from Google.  It was also the time there were less movies produced in a year, than today's time. Forget Hollywood it was not that much interested to market its movies in Asia like it does today.  I think to tell a story you have to have full knowledge of what you are telling and be an experience to add your own touch of it.

You have to read books, collect all your data and experience it in life, before you stand up in front of that big audience to speak.These were the 80s version of our great storytelling who had art to grip the big audience and Dayalu Sir, was pretty good at that. His big and clear voice may be the sign of his confidence in his knowledge.

Pancha Kanya - a group of five girls

Panchakanya is a group of five virgin girls who have not gone through the phase of monthly period cycle. They are regarded very auspicious to start any ceremony in Hindu tradition. Indeed, this believe comes from the hindu religion, according to which five is very auspicious number. There fore, people do take time to select the most beautiful young girls only, mostly under the age of ten.

The person who are in charge of the panchakanya takes very good care of this project and does every effort to make sure the girls are best looking. Not just good looking but they must have cheerful look also, at least the senior most housemother Kedar Shrestha, who was the in-charge of this picking up girls and then giving them full makeups along with proper dress ups and then preparing them for the big day. She had done this work for more than twenty years during her tenure in Bal Mandir. The five girls were selected for the ceremony not just based on the look only the other quality was also needed like  the winner of little beauty peasant long before the concept of little angel's or the princess pageants took place in my country. If can say so, panchakanya are the early version of such beauty peasants. They have to be well groomed and well dressed with the best of the manners.

For the occasion, they are given the best makeup to look even more prettier for the ceremony and they are dressed equally beautifully and mostly the color of the dress is red or pink to add more charm to the beauty of little girls. No wonder, they look like real angel, so not surprisingly they are most of the time, main attraction of the any big ceremony also. Kedar Shrestha, the housemother, was very careful to pick up young girls for her this small annual projects. She made sure they were well behaved girls with best of the manners not just in front of the royals but also when they were not around the royals or seniors. Oh yes, one of the much needed quality among the girls was, who can hold the pee for couple of hours without crying.  

One time I was also one of the girl in a group of five. It was my first time to be in the group of panchakanya. I never was the choice of house mother to be in this group. You guessed it right, I was not that beautiful child to be in that team of beautiful girls gang.

However, I was really happy that I too was part of a beautiful girl’s gang but the truth only known to the housemother. Did I forget it now, that one of the regular girl was sick or had some wounds in her body which filtered her from that years queen's birthday  ceremony ? Lets not go in that area and let me think and enjoy at this moment that there was a time I too was one of the hand picked girl of this groups. So, after all the makeup and dress up we were taken to the royal palace.

There was queen standing in front of the royal palace, ready to welcome all the visitors who used to come there to wish her on her birthday. We were escorted to her by the housemother, Kedar Shrestha, which she had done may be hundreds of times before and this was one work she could do even in her sleep. There was a small table in front of the queen, which must have been kept there to keep flowers and the gifts she receives from the visiting people. Panchakanya offers her mostly flowers only and it is one of the first thing she gets before she receive anyone on that day.

When a girl on the front row tried to offer her flower to the queen, she could not reach her easily to handover the flowers, so what the girl did was, put her right feet on the front table and then offered her the flower, the next girl copied the first girl. At that time, I was maybe on fourth or in fifth girl in that row of five girls and I too ended up making the same mistake as made by the first girl. When I reach at the front of the queen she had even pulled me slightly and shook me holding my arms not to put my legs on the side of a table. However, all the five girls made the same mistake that day.  

At this very moment the queen Aaishwarya did not say a word, because the mistake was made by a small girls, but as an in-charge of the Bal Mandir, Kedar Shrestha was nervous and she was trying to prevent us the next girl and the next girl not to make the same mistake which the first girl have made innocently. In my vague memory, I think there was a smile on the face of queen and a nervous smile on the face of housemother. I think that nervous smile was the feel of relief also.

When I look back and try to understand now, why she was so nervous about so small mistake - to my small world it was a small mistake. Why she was preventing young and innocent girls not to repeat the mistake again and again what's so big deal about it ? Its bit easy answer indeed, first she was unbelievably polite to us and we were too young to understand why. She was polite because, we were in front of the queen who was in front of the palace. Second, we were not used to of getting the ‘hints’ from such polite form of requesting. In Bal Mandir people just screamed up from the lungs to make us understand, if they wanted us to hear them. It was very rare, people made a point to make us hear them; without raising a voice.

But more than that, what is more important for me to understand now was that we were one of the very first to see queen and its believed when the starting is good the day will be good and when its bad the day will be bad and with the panchakanya some people also tagged the good and bad thing as its also the part from the hindu religion. So, it sure has to be the concept of, start great so that the ending will be great.  Sometimes there are people who believe in small small things rather than big things and that plays a big role in whole matter may be that is the reason the housemother was nervous and was trying her level best to stop us but we were  just too young to understand the superstition that adult hold in their mind and just ended up making the small and innocent mistake that made a huge difference in the mind of adults.

The Cucumber Thief

Like most of the boys in their preteen and teen years Gyan Bahadur was also one of them to get the opportunity to have his own small garden in Bal Mandir. When I look back and try to understand the meaning of this one small garden part, which the management took was one of the best; to keep young and overactive boys on their own work and give them something to take responsibility in their life .

Mostly boys used to grow flowers in their garden. The kind of flowers they like and they were the boss where to get those flowers and free to take the decision. But, the small plot also used to provide them enough space to grow some vegetables and some edibles like sugarcane which was one of the choice by boys. Some boys used to grow some instant vegetables which they can eat it once they pluck from the garden most of them used to be salad materials like radish or cucumber. Some boys like growing chilli or garlic also, maybe they wanted to have it with meal and without fearing the scolding from housemothers or nannies blaming them you stole it.

Once Gan Bahadur tried his hand on cucumber, like other boys and that was a good year for growing cucumber. He must have had a ball with his growing and of all that he was saving one to grow it bigger and only he knew, what he had in his head about it growing that big. That juicy cucumber was above our head and we used to see it every time we pass from his garden to go to the school and return from the school so he was quite sure that no one will steal it from that height. It seems that in his youth he forgot that there were plenty of other young child who really wanted to take the challenge, that cucumber posing on them, “come on pick me up, I am juicy and tasty.”

Agreed, not all will take that challenge from cucumber, but it was just way too much for our chirpy and naughty girl, Junkiri and her gang. She made a plan with her friends to pick it up one night as it was not the work of broad daylight work because Gyan Bahadur was her best friend who was in her class and she did not wanted him to know that person who stole his big cucumber is none other than but his best friend.

So one night Junkiri went to the kitchen garden area where that juicy and succulent cucumber was calling her. She was there with her two best friends, Parbati and Ishowary. Parbati took her on her shoulder and then Ishwor handed her the big stick, so that she can aim the cucumber in the dark and hit it to fall from the climer that was hanging over her head. As Junkiri told us later it was not easy to do so, because it was dark and there was nothing to hold hands on to hit it properly. Anyway after some time of hitting and struggle they got their biggest prize and then ran away with it; eat it in a way no one know it; who were in that stealing binge. This story would have ended just like that like so many other stories in Bal Mandir, if Junkiri had not been a  close friends of Gyan Bahadur.

The next day when Gyane - as she used to call him - saw there was no cucumber, he lost his temper and he was really famous for thin patience.  He started calling names to one of the housemother and used all kinds of words, he knew to curse her.

Why he cursed the housemother Sabitri Basnyat, because one day she has remarked that, “Gyane, your cumber is really growing fast and its time to eat it.” She must have meant that, “either you eat it or somebody else will.”  Obviously, Gyan Bahadur took it otherwise and  doubted that its the housemother who stole his cucumber. Coincidently, Junkiri was there when he cursed her heavily, and calling her all kind of names including some long curse like, ‘she must suffer from the severe diarrhoea with indigestion, because she stole it and its my hard work and I must get a chance to hear that she suffered from severe diarrhea.

When we were young and growing up in Bal Mandir we used to face lots of humiliation and insult and as we found ourself helpless to face such condition to let our anger go out from what we felt; all we have to do was to indulge in curse. And the curse used to be really ugly and filthy, having no limits to it; and that was the only thing that pacified or burning hurt emotions. We were not trained to face the people to defend ourselves nor I have got any opportunity to observe anyone who knew how to face such situation with more civilized manner. Honestly speaking, at that age; I was not even acquainted with the word defending ourselves, if we find ourselves in such a condition. But see here Gyan Bahadur was guessing   only who had stole it but at that same time, he was dead sure that his guesswork was right. The only thing is that the real thief was just in front of him to listen and hearing his all ranting to the imaginary thief.

So, hearing all that, the psychology of Junkiri started worsening in strange way. She really felt uneasy with that kind heavy of cruising. As Ishwori and Parvati was watching her, Junkiri really felt pukey and uneasy in her stomach. Suddenly, she started defending Sabitri Dijju - the imaginary thief - and told him softly not to curse her; saying maybe she is not the one.This fueled the anger of Gyan Bahadur, who to my knowledge had one of the worst temper tantrum. Had it been boys or girls he would have fought with them that it sure would have been ugly fight. But because it was housemother and she was on of the most notorious in her behavior and treatment with us so all he could do to calm his anger was by cursing her heavily.

Junkiri is one of the most drama queen in my friend circle and if she can make nice face  when she turns into Gyan Bahadur, she at the same time she time she can give her worst look to Parvati and Ishwori to read her condition. She can do anything to get the attention but when she is in real trouble her friend can read her. So her two face at one time was what amusing and confusing both the girls.  After sometime they left Gyan Bahadur and went to their way where they laugh and  laugh for being able to fool him at the same time not being in the radar of suspect of the cucumber theif.

See Junkiri is my most talkative childhood friend and she loves talking to the extent that she enjoys telling me that so and so friend had visited her and before she could speak she had something else to say to stop her from talking. No doubt she is such a good time pass and I must have told you before in many of my blog post,  I would rather prefer to have my time spent with her than going out for a Hindi movie in a hall. Yeah, sometimes you really have to listen her even though you know she is blowing things way up to get your attention and keep glued to what she is telling you. She will really do everything to like her talk, keep you glued and get the full attention. sometimes all you need to do is to filter a bit or maybe a little more than you really want to filter it, the way she serve us her story. But, every time I tell her you are blowing it way too much she simply ask me do you like boil potato or chili potato with well seasoned ? She knows is before I answer the question, I prefer the second option.

The Fruit

The month of July and August  is when rain and storm joins hand  and sometimes this light storm which shakes off the big and unshakeable trees from the top is good for children. The rain and the slight storm used to work as the force that used to shake tall, and hard to climb trees so easily and then we used to get the fruit in the morning.

This fruit used to be as big as a football and some times it used to be bigger than that. It has perhaps uniqueness to it. I yet have to come across a fruit which is whole from outside and it yet it could be distributed with each person without cutting it. All we have to is to count the pieces and person and then distribute it among us.

If was hard to pluck the fruit from the tree, even for the most daring tree climber, which of course used to be schoolboy; but the strong breeze used to shake the top of the tree  in such a way; most of the time it used to fall from it  without much effort. Most the morning birds used to get the chance to claim the fallen big fruit as it was a surprise gift for them during the rainy days.

What is so unusual about this is, I dont even know the name of the fruit, but most of us liked it very much. Then we used to call it Rukh Kattar, but then now I came to know that jack fruit is called rukh katter here and it was nothing like the jack fruit.

As for the taste it was not much sweet nor it  had the citrusy taste. Nothing sharpness in its taste and its scent. Just the gentle sweetness to it. More than that it was enough to kill the sharp hunger we felt any time of the day. Some adult also used to like it after barbecuing it, but because it was a fruit we like it just the way it was.

This fruit just killed the fun part to climb the tree and then run with the fruit like other fruits we used to steal from those chaser, when we were young and wild;  but still it was a fruit which we used to enjoy without an inch of effort, so I think sometimes we must enjoy things in  life just the way it is. Just enjoy it while it last.

Hot Air balloon Test ride

Bal Mandir was the place where many people came from many countries for various interest. Not all the interest would have anything to do with the children inside the children home like many kind of experiments. There may have been people, who may have done some kind of experiment in how to provide better environment and then raise children in such environment which may have to do with some kind of training or different kind of education. However I do not know all that officials decision because that was not open for us to know. But if something took place in front of our eyes it remained in our memory. Fine not everything has to be good for us as Bal Mandir was more than children home it was in fact, the center of all the activities that Royal wanted to hold under its banner.

However during 80s time when I was growing up in Bal Mandir, I remember two experiments, one is getting injection  from injection machine experiment and the other is test ride of hot air balloon. See when I was child and even in my teen years all the white color people who spoke English we used to call them Americans and I thought this hot air balloon's test ride experiment was also done by Americans. If they were other nationals I have no way to confirm it now.

I remember, it was a sunny morning, must have been the month of summer. The sky clearly was clear and blue. It was the time before our school hour started. In general we used to be busy in our daily study time before the school hour. But I don't know why we are in the front lawn of the Bal Mandir to see all the procedure before the hot air balloon took place. There were many white people, mostly men, who were preparing a big balloon to make it ready    for the short flight.

Finally, when everything was done and checked its was time time to take off. So, they requested one of the housemother, Kedar Shrestha, who were there to inspect all the process, to climb up in the hot air balloon. At first she felt hesitant with a  bit of nervousness than excited to try this new adventure. Hesitant because four men had made the hand chair, by holding each others hand firmly, so that she can sit there with ease and then she could climb up in the hot air balloon. But, it was 80s nepal and women were not comfortable to accept it due to the narrow thinking  people around us. But as she there was no harm in accepting such wonderful opportunity to see the valley from the hot air balloon, she accepted the request anyway and then when she was in it along with couple of others  the balloon took off up in the sky. There were very strong men in all four side of the balloon to hold and control the move of balloon in the sky. They were also needed to bring down the balloon after about maybe 10 - 12 minutes up in the sky.

In my vague memory, the people who were on the four side of balloons were all white men but may be they could have managed some Nepali for doing that, can't remember that part much.  What I remember is it was very unique sight for us, who were watching it from the distance. making a round on that round lawn that is just in front the main gate of Bal Mandir. Later on she said the men were very strong who could take her weight so easily and make her ride was thrilling, exciting and fun than she had expected.

For a child like me it was really exciting to see a big balloon to fit couple of adults in it and  and then seeing it fly up in the sky and then come it down safely also.

The first public demonstration of hot air balloon had  actually took place long before what I have seen in Bal Mandir during 1980. It took place in France June 5, 1783, they flew this craft in front of some dignitaries which lasted 10 minutes. The inventor of this were two brothers from France, Joseph-Michel Montgolfier and Jacques-Étienne Montgolfier.