Why some people are so angry ?

Sunita Giri 11:11 PM |


I was looking at her standing from outside the kitchen, my back resting on the big metal bar railing made at the long corridor that led to kitchen. I was looking at this angry tamang woman and her swollen veins in her neck and in her forehead, due to ‘the talk’ she was doing with so much anger  and frustration with a male staff in the kitchen, who could not be seen from the place where I was standing. ‘The talk’ is wrong word here to use for what she was doing , because she is the only one who was doing most of 'the talk' and the man who was a cook, kept his loud silence, despite she was attacking him loudly and kind of inviting him to take part in that verbal war.

It was the big kitchen,  which had three main door to enter inside it, and I was at the north side of the door. In front of this door, there she was; this middle age woman who to my child eyes she looked bit old then. I can't even remember her name today, but she was not in the staff team. However; used to stay in Bal Mandir anyway. That particular day she was there in the kitchen with a big pan of meat in front of her waiting to be distributed to almost 200 children as well as staff. So, undoubtedly this was a Saturday evening.
Normally, house mother on duty used to do this job, no not the curry distribution just the meat once in every week, but I have no idea; why she was there to do this work that particular day. While she was jabbing her jaw, she was placing one big scoop of soupy meat on the plates of children, who were passing by her in a long row, that went back to the long row of corridor and even that used to go down the small stairs that lead to the front yard. However, she was more engrossed in argument than doing the work fast. We used to wait whole week to have a meat  and enjoy having it more than any tasty curry of the week. So, naturally, children like me were less interested in what she was thinking or feeling and why she was angry like that.

She must have had a small misunderstanding with one of the cook, whom we used to call ‘Baje’ on duty for this unexpected arrangement. That misunderstanding can be regarded very normal as part of the days work, but because she never had the work pressure and to mend ways with other working people so she was making it a huge fuss and behaving as if the sky just fell on her side.

Trust me, I am least interested in her sour mood and  what she was thinking or feeling but   her swollen veins in her aging neck and forehead and angry tone and mood at the most unexpected time and then her never ending jabbing was something I just could not understand, why.

She was challenging the cook repeatedly to, “come, chop off my head , I won't say a word and I won't do anything.” While at the same time, she was doing non stop verbal attack to the man who was not even taking part in this war, was just too much for my young mind to to shake my head off.

She was a tamang woman and I always loved the sound of twang they spoke, but this time it was not the same story anyway.

Why people are so angry like that ? Specially, when they don't have to work hard like others and nothing to lose then what made them angry ?

Here, I am not trying to say that Bal Mandir was peaceful haven and there never used to be any sort of argument, disagreement or quarreling. With so many children at your hand length all that was part of daily life. And if any, they get tangled in lengthy fight or arguments, there always used to be somebody to intervention, either from seniors,  or housemothers to stop such uncivilized behaviors. But, this woman was not the  staff member, so there was no one to stop her and to tell her not to jab her jaw non stop in front of young children, especially, when they were hungry like lava.

When I look back, I wonder why some adult, if not the housemothers, even room nannies who were her age or bit older than her, did not tell her not to over do it. Why none of them told her to step outside the kitchen and then end the verbal attack. What this woman had to make her point clear in that way ? Why she thought of giving a hard time to the man, who had to work hard to make his living, when this woman did nothing for living ? If she had nothing to fear or lose [job] then why she was manifesting that kind of behavior ?  

Just like me you too may have observed incidents like this and there are some incidents, which won't go away from our heads, even if we do not understand why. Is there anything I can learn from this particular incident ? If yes, then what is this, I really don't know that yet.

Just like her, there were two more old woman, who used to stay in Bal Mandir, despite they not being part of staff team. The other two were much older than her, they said they were ‘bubu’ - nannies - of Bhim SJB Rana, who owned that building once. The woman, who yapped like hell was said said to be the mistress of Rana ruler in her youth. They were from the staff team of the man who had left the building perhaps they had no place to go and so they came with the buildings as package deal to take care for them too, just like the building. Because the big palace had plenty of  rooms for couple of those ladies, so maybe it was not much of problem to keep there. However, I have no idea who used to give them the living allowance and how much they used to get it.

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