Sibling Rivalry

“I grew up in palace”, he said. I gave him a suspicious look for that statement so, he clarified himself adding, “of course, my immediate circle of friends know about my childhood, but, there are still a bigger circle of people in my contact to whom  I say, I grew up in palace, it really garners huge interest amongst this circle.” He went on saying, “when I also tell them I studied with Dipendra - the diseased prince - that simply adds my value and importance in this circle of society. I get invited to many churches for more speech, because to them I am simply a best deal compared to others, due to my back ground.”

If you are confused a little bit here, who is this person I am acquainted from royal family, please don't be. This bragger is my brother who spent his childhood with me in Bal Mandir. But he is a notorious bragger, who knows how to blow things out of proportion. Oh sorry, for spoiling his image other than that bragging he is very grounded and humble person, a bible teacher and a writer.

You can see the stark difference between him and me, I say I grew up in Bal Mandir and he says he grew up in Palace. Of course, big rooms to stay and big ground to play was also for me as well as for him and others.

As you have already read in my earlier post all kind of talent competitions which used to take place in Bal Mandir just allowed us to explore our hidden talents and shake our uneasiness to take part in some debate as it was practices very early in our life. All those extra classes after school kept us busy when we were young and energetic and had plenty of time to try all the new things.

I was very   average child and even more average student when I was in Bal Mandir but my brother was bright child and student. I never came close to top ten in my class in my whole student life and he never came second in his entire student life.

He not only used to take part actively in debate competition but he used to win the debate also for almost all participation, used to win prizes for singing never failed in any classes like I did. As a big brother he did told me to take part in those debate competition and mine was so bad participation. So, when I wanted to submit my name for the next competition the program in charge suggested me not not due to my poor performance. It killed me but she was right in her one way too, I was not as good as my brother.

He was sent to other children home which is located at Shifal when he was only in fifth grade. I was in Bal Mandir. Shifal was only for boys and this is less controlled compared to Bal Mandir. Besides this is only for the boys, so to maintain discipline was the major issue to the staff. At the same time some staff were too strict to these boys too. I have a very level headed brother. At least I can say this about him others are I am not close with. Oh, I have five brothers and he is the youngest one close to my age and I am the only girl and the youngest of all too.

Despite all those adverse environment, it did not affect him much in his life. At the tender age of fourteen he found peace with life through religion; which he did after changing his religion to christian.  Unlike me he could not finish his schooling, due to financial reason but still he teaches in bible college, and now a star writer. But before that he is a bible teacher for more than 20 years. That is his first and only mission in life.

Its not important today, whether I can dance or not, its also not that important my career as a singer is not secured. I never took part in any drama as an amateur or professional since I left in Bal Mandir. I do not remember taking part in any competition and then winning it. I can dance and won't hesitate sing when I feel like. I may be not the best to do it but there are worst than me who gives me confidence to express myself when I have to do it if need be and doing it has nothing to do with as a profession. All those classes has a lot to do more of increasing our confidence build too, which as a child I never understood.  

He give credit to all those training which we got in Bal Mandir  or his confidence and ability to stand up in the crowd and deliver his speeches. He admits that he is a performer rather than a preacher.

His first book Mystery of Marriage made him the star writer in christian society here in Nepal, because his first book sold more than other writers book.   Its been published more than 8,000 in less than a year.  His first book is creating a new sales record and that is making him busy now, giving speeches in many churches which requires him to visit different part of Nepal.

This is a small figure in big countries but here even big literary writer hardly cross 10,000 in a year for new book so forth publish in a year and this time its published 3,000 is good news for him.

He has been teaching bible since long. By the time he was at the age of his oldest son, who is eighteen now; he had already started teaching bible.  His work put him in bigger spotlight than mine.

After 20 years I don't know how, but my English is better than him. I am college graduate and he is not. In fact, I am the only one in my family, who had been to college and not my brothers. Poor he, he did not find Bernard in his life as I did. Today I am writer and I have more follower in my Facebook which he has not and I get paid for my article better than he earns from his book. I am writing my blog, suddenly I am on front row. when I share all this with him, it sure has power to make me go silent, oh, yes he keeps loud silence in this matter. May be he is wondering how come me who was so average in every way is coming on front row almost alongside him ? Yes, there is no doubt that his line is a lot different and mine is also but now I am now under his shadow.

I love knitting, of course I learn this in Bal Mandir and I am known in my close circle for my this passion and If I made sweaters, this is very womanly thing and that's what girls or women do here and should be happy doing this kind of stuff. This kind of things is OK with almost everyone, but me writing and my voice reaching far and wide than his is some thing do have power to keep him silence. I never thought, I have anything to with sibling rivalry, by age he is closest with mine but still his way and thinking is a whole lot different than mine.

But, still when I see him keeping his silence, I can't help think is this sibling rivalry ? More than that what I remember very vividly is, this never existed when I was young and average and he was a lot smarter than me.