But why she committed Suicide ?

Sunita Giri 9:26 PM |

“Do you know Maya committed suicide ?” Du my close friend gave me the news over phone.   Her way of telling me this news also has a way of asking me about it. Maybe, she  guessed, I already got this news from my other friend circle. She was wrong about it, because she was the first person to give me this news on the late Sunday evening.

This news came as a shock to us. natural death is one thing but when someone commits suicide, she leaves so many untold story behind. So its natural when Du wondered, what could have been the reason for her to commit suicide ?

It  had not been even two years that Maya’s oldest daughter had committed suicide and now she is the the one who ended her life ? We were wondering how come her youngest daughter will face the two suicide in her family that happened within two years.

Maya was our common childhood friend, so her suicide news traveled fast among our vast circle of friends from Bal Mandir. Being a why digger, it fell on me, to find out the reason why she decided to end her life, that too in less than two years of her oldest daughter’s suicide .

A scene reeled in my mind. “Don't cry, its not death it's suicide” my friend told me  about the day when Maya had visited her after  her daughter had committed suicide. Maya was very vulnerable like many women and she just needed to share her deep sorrow with anyone who was ready to listen to her and not judge her for whatever the reason. But, I bet she had not expected to get that kind of response from her most compassionate friend, Junkiri. My chatty friends continued, “when I said that, she had swallowed a big lump on her throat, and suddenly she stopped crying. Then I turned to my daughter and told her, if you commit suicide, I will not bury your corpse.”

I just stared at her with so many questions in my mind but not a single word on my lips. Personally, like Junkiri I am also not in favor of suicide and will never choose that kind of end for myself whatever the situation arise; but, I could never ever; not even in my wildest imagination can tell a person not to cry, when one has just lost a loved one.

I called some of my close knit circle of friends to inform as well as to know, if they knew anything about her death or why Maya killed herself ? It seemed, I was the one who was giving them this news first hand and they were as clueless as I was. Many of us could not even be at the hospital or at her funeral due to this late news circulation.

After couple of more phone call and a visit I got some inside info on this case and what unveiled it was hard to believe. It left more question in my mind than it answered many reason behind her suicide. By nature I want answers not questions.

As I said, its really hard to believe what unfolded. Her story unfolded like this. It so happened that Maya’s youngest daughter, who is freshly out from nursing college was working as a private nurse for a rich Rana family. She started picking some expensive things  mostly jewelry from her workplace. At the beginning the family only suspected their nurse for the things that were vanishing from house. In her six months work as a private nurse in that house she had picked many jewelries including a gold chain worth almost Rs. 150,000/. But due to absence of proof they could not blame her directly. One day, they caught her red handed. Then this family handed her to police. She was kept in police station and Maya was also interrogated in the process to find out the truth.

My friends figured maybe she was too ashamed to face the people around her after this charges so she must have hanged herself; my friend concluded.

Being harshly interrogated for the theft charge that to her daughter was involved, but why Maya hanged herself ? I wanted to know. “Being charged  for a theft case from her daughters workplace and being caught red handed was just too much for Maya to face her peer pressure, may be that's why....  my friend said in response. That conclusion made no sense at all.  

“It can be understood that, she was ashamed of theft charge, but is this a reason she committed suicide ? Is that the reason big enough to end life ?” I still persisted  Because her daughter had spent night at police station due to this charge, it must have been very humiliating for her to face her near and dear ones after such charge ! my friend came with another prompt answer.

It still did not satisfy my curiosity of her suicide. A crime she did not even committed but she is the one who ended her life and not her daughter ? It made no sense at all to me; specially when we all know that Maya herself as a child was notorious for picking things from her friends as well as from room nannies. She could have just grown immune to such embarrassing conditions.

This time my friend shared me one thing which I never knew about Maya’s two daughters. Maya used to visit my friends with her two young girls, when all of them used to live nearby at that time. So when they used to say good byes, my friend noticed about three or five bottle of nail polish vanishing from the place where it used to be. That was the time when her girls were very young, I mean when the youngest one was only three and the big girl was about five or six years old.

We all knew Maya was facing the financial crunch but Maya had told us that its his Dewar [ husband younger brother] who used to help her financially to send her daughters to schools and then college once she was abandoned by her husband years before. A couple of our common friends made it to the hospital before she was taken for the funeral. There her dewar seem to be sharing a thought with them that, Maya and her daughters did not needed to steal things from others to support herself financially, because he had been providing them sufficiently. He wondered why they did such things.

There was also a time Maya had asked for financial help with her close friend circles, most of them from Bal Mandir to send her youngest daughter to nursing college. Many of my friends had given her whatever they could, they were generous too, in their own way.

It was first time even our common friends came into direct contact with her Dewar, who shared some internal information about Maya and her girls which we never knew before. He was the provider and protective umbrella for Maya and her two girls for years. When she died, the truth was revealed that Maya may have had just habit of blowing up her problems - financial needs - and then cheating it even with her own friends and she would not hesitate to shade tear for that to get the quick response.

Due to my hectic schedule regarding my personal work, that keeps me busy during winter season, Du is helping me to finish my work. So Du visited me this time. I told her the reason about her suicide. Just then she remembered the punishment Maya was given when she was in Bal Mandir for stealing couple of bucks from a room nanny.

What my close friend Du remembered when we all were in Bal Mandir, you can read my earlier post on this The punishment.

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