Sunita Giri 1:37 AM |

In General I don't write my blog based on the comments, even when; I feel the pressure from my readers. I can't write my stuff bending to the level what my readers want to read it and like it because this is a memoir not a fiction.

Recently, I am surprised to read my name in a twitter mention by my readers Satish Pandey who could remember my name and Prashant Ghimire who does. This mention made me think hard about what I have been writing and the reason I have been writing.  I advocate only the abuse and corruption that goes rampant in Bal Mandir. Sometimes its really hard to hear it back, when people presumes I only talk about the corruption going on in Bal Mandir. Are you not reading Life in Orphanage or you are too cosy with the negative story only in your surrounding ? My blog, shades of life tries to cover all sides of Bal Mandir not just the abuse and corruption that grips it. It seems my readers need to read many other posts that tells you life in Bal Mandir is far better than being raised in family and of the 200 post now; one can't see the whole angle in just couple of post, that shows the dark side of Bal Mandir. Nor I should be remembered the one who dare to expose the abuse or corruption that have been gnawing Bal Mandir since long.

There is two main reason writing my blog, one is to understand me myself so that it will help me to understand the world around me, and the other is hoping that my experience may help people who grew up in family to understand the life in Bal Mandir. It may be different in so many way but at the same time it is not much different than some people think it is. Fine, it won't have family members around us but as for me, this is the real beauty of spending life in Bal Mandir.

Well, I can't say this for all the other people, who could not understand this and found a reason not to be happy for ending up in Bal Mandir. Sorry, that was not me nor I could understand why people want to have the same people whom they lost in life ? How it could be possible to have one when they are already dead ? What is the meaning of life to be attached to the one, whom I have never ever seen in my life. My only regret is, we did not get a chance to realize it when we were young. How I wish I had someone to make me understand the beauty of living in Bal Mandir; then my entire outlook to see the world and people around me would have drastically changed. So reacting  on such comments should not be the reason I post my blog however, sometimes some of my readers reaction compels me to think about it but I wonder why do I really have to reason with misinterpretation.

When children enter the gate at the beginning their look is so haunting but when they leave it; its not. And the difference between the two stage is so vast, as a teenager we failed to appreciate all this. Fine it may not be the same when its associated with some who are suffering from mental retardation but for a normal child who have a potential to make it are trained and educated in every aspect so that one day that child will be able to live life independently. So this really haunts me why people presume life in Bal mandir was or is like hell ?

Honestly speaking, it was in fact,  some people - be it staff at the Bal Mandir or some of our mean classmates - have tried to infuse in our mind that it is the hell like experience to find ourselves in Bal Mandir and not to have parents in life or not to have close relatives in our life to take care of us in absence of the death of our parents. However the reality is vast different from what people presume about our life in Bal Mandir. I think, some of my readers are reading in search of sad and tragic story that comes with the children in desperate conditions, that normally hover around a helpless child after the death of close family members.

My other intention to write this blog was to help people change that mindset and see the other side of the Bal Mandir or other children’s home. But, still people come here to read    heart breaking sad and tragic stories. I wonder why people like tear churning stories only ? Why they are not reading so many things that is written but only some  corruption  or    abuse case that gripes any children home around the world and not just Bal Mandir. Why people forget too many good story and remembers only that do have power to numb our senses! I am not denying when I post some of my stories here that sure do have power to go in silent coma but should not we brush off ourselves and then see more deeper vision and mission behind the establishment of such children home ?

Raising voice without meaning it is so useless and this is one best example if I am taken as an advocate of abuse and corruption through my blog. If I really have not been able to change the thinking process of people who grew up in family; in all these years then, this means; I have still a long way to go, to change that kind of mindset. But I am not in hurry to do so.

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