Finding Identity

Sunita Giri 11:38 PM |

Ever Since, I started writing my blog the subject of dignity, respect, self-esteem, love keeps coming again and again and again. Honestly speaking, this is not my favorite subject to talk about but I am forced to talk about it repeatedly for may be very obvious reason as I grew up in Bal Mandir under the pressure of feeling  human in very odd situation.  Although I was never smart enough to know it at the time when I was young but still I remember people looked at us differently and treated us differently and they have the different smile reserved for us. When I say differently, this means; we were treated like a second class citizens in Bal Mandir. Its so that we were never given due respect, with few exception people felt comfortable to humiliate, insult, disrespect us and staff ignored the very fact that we were the one who have given them the position and status in the society for being a social worker.

What is so intriguing now is, we were customized to believe that its because of our karma, we ended up in Bal Mandir because we had done something horribly wrong in our previous live, and this was our divine punishment. So, it was the belief system of the people, mainly junior staffs at the Bal Mandir, who used to treat us so roughly.

But, then again; when I read the stories of black Americans, they also felt the same thing,  I mean, what I have gone through when I was growing up in Bal Mandir. At this very moment, I can think of the movie Glory and The Help which gives us the inside story of black american in america and we cant escape from is very moving and soul searching feel. What  is really so striking is, America is considered comparatively a lot civilized society than the one I grew up in 1980s Bal Mandir. To be honest, I was not quite sure about all this fancy words of dignity, respect and self esteem. I began to understand it all when I looked back in my life and started writing. Those movies helped me to understand my own feelings back in Bal Mandir.

And then, the Jews were treated like less than humans, when Hitler came into power in Germany. Who can forget the memories of holocaust ? Movies like The Pianist and the Schindler's list do give us close glimpse of the other side of the so called superior people in Germany. And then there are the very people in my society who act like they are so called upper class people because they come from higher caste and they treat some segment of society in such a way that its worth reading their behavior pattern because they  treat people with discrimination.

Are the people really superior if they treat other human beings a lot less like humans ? There are some people who treat poor people with same kind of discrimination than the white used to treat the black Americans during the 1900 in US. But was not the white were richer to buy black Americans and then treat them like animals ? were not they doing the same to Indians in India during the British ruling era ?

Do I have to feel good that my condition was not as bad as the victims of the holocaust or the black Americans who have to go through nightmarish life in white peoples society ? Are we really talking about self esteem or the inferiority [ superiority] complex when we talk about situation like this ?  when we know that this is about basic human rights issue. Is this really the talk of lack of self confidence, fragile self esteem or there is more to it ?

Why majority of lower class people feel insufficient in front of rich people and their show off lives ? Should all that must add to our inferiority ? Should their superiority behavior has anything to do with our own self esteem and then hit our ego ? If not then what is this ? What we are talking about ?

Are we not talking about our basic humans rights here ?  don't we all have to fight for our own Identity in one point of life or other ?

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