In the name of prestige

Sunita Giri 11:25 PM |


I do not stay around, when Madam S. distributes money to college students or parents for the education fund under a Swiss Project here in Nepal. I do not stay around is not the right way of putting it, its that I am not needed to be there, when she does that major job of hers.  ‘Madam S’ is the Chairman of a Children Home here in Nepal, which is funded by a Swiss people.


One day, I just happen to be at the Children’s Home, when she was distributing money.  She had almost finished her distribution task, so I moved in the small room to sit in a chair, where two others were already there around a table. Treasure of the children home and the hostel in charge.  

Just then, Abhishek Thakuri, the brightest student of the project, entered in the room.  He had won 100% free spot on in his college fees for two years, due to his good marks he had obtained on his SLC. He is the student of computer science. That day, he was the last one to get his education allowance.

Before he took money, he had a request to make with Madam S, “can you please increase some food allowance for me, as I have been going to college every morning; drinking only cold water, as the money, I get is not sufficient.” He, then gave some stats to Madam S, how the money was not sufficient.

After hearing him, I also joined him and requested Madam S, “why not you increase it, because he had reduced his colleges fees for 2 years to nil.” When I finished my line, Prashant, treasurer [ son of Madam S ] also joined me, and added, “yes, why not.” But Madam S bluntly refused it.

She is the boss, so she can take any decision, she feels right, as per the situation. I then turned towards Abhishek, and told him that, “you are old enough to get up in the morning and make some tea, even if its black tea and take it with bread, before going to college.” for which he gave me very lame excuse, saying that he is just too tired to wake up and make it. “Bimala [she was my classmate, when we were in school] can make it for you, if you are too tired to wake up early in the morning.” He again had ready made answer for that also so responded “My mother also gets very tired in the morning to wake up and make tea for me.”  
When he left the room, I said to Madam S, “its very strange, when he says that, he had to drink cold water, before going to college, because he has house, so at least he can afford for black tea and bread before college.”

My remark offended Madam S out of nowhere, because whatever I speak, has to do to offend her and everything comes out from her mouth after that, is very defensive. “How can you say, it’s their house ? have you been there ?” She asked me. I replied, “No, I have not been there, but I know its their house.” My response added, like a fuel to her offensive nature, so she demanded to know, how I know its their house, and then said in very irkie voice, “I have been there, in their house and I have been there with Gabi also, before we took them in  project, have you been there yet ?

“Its so useless to tell you, what I know”, I replied back with stone face.

At this point, I must add one thing here, because she gets very irritated, when I am around her, so I consciously pay more attention; to every details of my behaviour, my tone and my look, whether, I am staring at her or not and my body language. Honestly every tinytiny details i pay attention. This is one part, I am very consciously conscious about, but she gets irritated, even if all those things are in perfect order.

“But how can you tell, it’s their house, when you have never been there ?” She kind of attacked me, as she has very dominating nature. Its only that, I am so not the kind of person, who gets intimidated by such personality.

This matter could have been died so easily. I told her something and she simply did not believe me, but this incident did not end like that. Two days back, I was again at the Children’s Home to settle, Nisha’s issue. Nisha, had left the hostel without proper communication and so Nisha was called along with Ritu [her guardian], to explain her side of story ?

As Nisha went up, for clearance of her stuffs, then in the meeting hall, Madam S spoke that Bimala [Mother of Abhishek & Alisha] was here yesterday, with a list to buy things for Alisha. I have seen that list two days back, some of the things on the list were, more than 100% of the market rate like school shoes, bags etc. “You know what, she cried, when I said, she has a house, so she can buy those things all on her own”,  she went on, “.... when she started crying, I was so embarrassed as Manish [Shrestha] was here with me.”

This narration stunned me, “...when I said, they have house you did not buy [believe] me, and you are telling all this. I am so surprised that this news have become bigger and bigger like a snowball, which is going to flat me on its way down.” I said in response.

She then counter questioned me, “you being so educated person, has to think twice before you speak and how can you say things like that ?  which you don’t even know ? can you produce me the house document they own ?” she challenged me from across the table.

“What ? produce a house document ?” Then I turned towards Ritu [she recently died in an accident], who is  very close family friend of the couple [Abhishek’s parents] to ask, is not this true they are staying in their own house?”, she nodded her head. It was then, I came to know that, they also had been collecting  about 10,000 Rs per month as a rent.

Madam S, was not convinced yet, so she said, “let's call a meeting, I will call Bimala and Krishna and then you also come in the meeting, with the document of their house,  let’s find out its their home or not.”

This statement made me mad like anything, “when I said, they own their house, you did not even believe it, now you want me to be in the meeting, you have blown things out of proportion and please, do not call me in that stupid meeting, I will not come.” I blurt out in anger. I added again, “I know you for more than 20 years now and I have not seen your house document and you expect me to produce [you], their house document, where I have never stepped in ?” I snapped out loud as this whole conversation made me so angry. It was the first time, I had such hot argument with Madam S.

Then she said, “I have my prestige you know.”  “I can understand when you say, you have a prestige, BUT when I said it, you just did not believe it and dismissed it in front of me, so for that matter you better don’t pull me again in this whole case and do what ever you feel like doing”, I was still angry when I blurted out above lines.

It was not hard to see, she was angry too. But her double standard character and unreasonably defensive nature just boiled me even more. Suddenly out of nowhere, in the midst of all that, she became so conscious, that we were shouting at each other and people must have stopped walking on the street, to listen what we were fighting about. She cooled down dramatically and lowered down her voice. If she cools down, it really infects me fast   just like her hot temper is so infectious. Now we shifted our focus to Nisha case. Another problem, which we have to settle for the time.

A family friend of Krishna told me that it must be Krishna, who taught his son to say that he has to go to college drinking just cold water. Krishna and Bimala both grew up in an orphanage located at panchkhal, a branch of Bal Mandir. Later on, Bimala was transferred to Bal Mandir.

A bright computer student of the college, who has both parents and a house that collects decent rent, who gets education allowance apart from food expenses for his education, that  statement was just too much. But more than that why I had to tangled in all this ?  

I just could not understand, why she brought me in the middle of all this whirlwind, when she simply did not believe what I said.

Bimala, offers her help to Madam S, as and when she needs it, to wash her heavy curtains and bed sheets. Krishna provides the delivery service of all those garments in his car [he is the driver of a businessman], so he can arrange the timing to help Madam S, whenever she needs one.

Everybody is human being, everyone needs some extra care and attention occasionally, so there is nothing wrong, if she is getting all this from the parents under the project as a gratitudes. This is one thing, I never offered to her. But still I am not getting my answer, why did she dismissed me up on my face, and then when I was not around, she was using all those information against me ? why ?

Later, I  learned that Madam S told Bimala, “ Sunita, does not want your children, to be a part of this project.” this is enough to surprise me, you know its a small world.

But, more than that Madam S, is very absent minded and she hates this fact that I am so smart to read it.

In the  December 2011 get together party of students from Children’s Home, I had a transportation problem as I live in a real good distance from the crowded city center. I had to leave the party early and waited for more than half an hour for the bus and there were nothing available, going towards my side of the area not even halfway throu. So I decided to stay in the party, but for that I had to sort out one issue first,  where I was going to stay overnight. I did asked Madam S, “may I stay in children’s home ?.” “No”, came the prompt answer from her, she was irritated to the max, at the same time also, of course with me. I had no clue why she was. Then, I asked with Krishna Shrestha [hostel in-charge of the children’s Home] to give me a night stay at her house, but it was again Madam S who said, “No”, from her behalf too.

Instead she suggested me to stay with Bimala’s house, where Ritu was also staying due to the late party or I could stay in Shrine School. This time I said flat, “No”. Then Madam S repeated, “stay with Bimala, its her house.” She was dramatically cool, when she suggested me to stay with her.  

My answer was still, “No”. 
In her crankier, irritated and agitated  mood, she was giving me what I was not expecting and needed, but only confirmed, for which, we had a huge bitter argument. Then Priya [her daughter] suggested, to give me a drop at my place, which also she said no saying, the guy is busy there in the party. Any way Priya did managed to drop me off. But later that night everybody, who could not manage to go home, was allowed to squeezed in for a night stay at children’s home.

That meeting was my last meeting at the Children’s Home. Since then [around three years ago in May 2009], I am not needed or called for any meeting at this Children’s Home.

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