Is he really your father ?

Sunita Giri 9:19 PM |


“Have you heard of Suman ?” a friend of mine asked me recently during my visit at her place.  “Why, what happened to him ? I am not in his contact or anyone who is in touch with him.”  the way she asked me this question, I said all lines as it kind of tickled my curiosity to to know the other side of the story.


“He had gone to meet his father and asked him to give him some land, so that he can build a house here [in Nepal]” she said.



My eyes got wider, while fixing my eyes with hers. There was so many questions dancing in my eyes and hers seem to saying just like mines.


After a long pause, I could mustered a word, “really ? but I don’t know anything about it.   what did his father said ? ”,  I was curious to know more.


“He showed him land and told him to build a house in the center of his land.” she said. and then she continued again to complete what his father said, “you are my son, my property is your property and your property is my property.”


I hear that Suman’s [Dahal] father has a huge property of his own; which he has to distribute, to his many children from three wives. Suman’s father had  home in Sinamangle area, but they were dislplaced from there, when the TIA [airport] was needed to expand years before. If my information source is right, he lives with his big family in mulpani area. Honestly speaking, I really don’t know how much land he owns. But at the same time I also hear that their mother also had some land of hers, perhaps as a dowry but after her death it was gulped down my one of her brother.


His father’s response only, made me burst out into a really big laughter. Yeah, I know people find my sense of humour come in at times at very odd way but this one was really funny with a twisted sense of humour. But at the same time this also made us pull our heads together to discuss, how Suman and her elder sister had landed in Bal Mandir. Suman has one elder sister, Niru Dahal, my roommate and classmate, when I was child. After the killing of their mother; they were admitted to Bal Mandir.


Suman’s mother was the oldest wife, on all three. She was smothered and strangled to death by her husband, with the help of his mother. Their grandmother took the charge of killing her daughter-in-law and went to jail, saving his son and leaving behind him; so that he can have his life and to marry again and again. He married twice, after killing his first wife.


Suman and Niru Dahal both of them stayed in Bal Mandir; until they completed their SLC.  After that Nei [this is how I call her even today] went on to stay with one of her uncle, who used to work in Bal Mandir and she got married very young. I mean before she completed her college education. Suman, however was lucky one to have her uncles working in the NCO’s staff members; so they could influence others in their work force to get a sponsor at the age of sixteen. He was adopted by a French couple. Since then, he has been living and working in France. He completed his college study from France and started working there. Of course, he did marry a girl named Damu Sherpa. She is also from Bal Mandir.


Suman, asking some land with his father is some thing just did not click me. How come he can expect some thing from the man who killed his mother ? Just because he has property, does this mean he is going to give it to you ? Who is greedy here ? Suman, who expected he too should get a chunk of land from his father who was never his in my personal opinion and after knowing all the story I have heard about them or his father who had smothered first and then hanged his own wife and mother of his two children ?


Fine, when this incident happened; Suman could have been about four years old or may be younger, but just because he was young that does not mean he never grow old to understand the gravity of the situation and bond of relationship ? How old does one have to be; to read mindset of people around us ? why ? does age growth has nothing to do the growth of one’s mental age  ?

Suman’s life was like an open page, to all of us who grew up in Bal Mandir. His father was never there to raise him and pick up any cost involved in shaping his future in anyway possible. Then how come he can go to ask for a piece of land with his father ? Is the relationship is linked to how much property one’s parents has or how he treats his child in the years that lay ahead in our life ?


It only left me wondering more. Just because someone is your biological father, it also does not mean that, he will be there in your life for all the needs to be met ? And If he never ever was there to watch you grow and shape your future; does not this tells you whole different story to understand, why he was not there for you. How much one should feel attached to thier biological parents. Is the connection, is measured by how much he[father] has and will give you ? 


Is this really property issue or mentality of a person ?
Suddenly, I remember reading, when Opera Winfrey, plainly refused to see the man who claimed to be her father, who was never ever there to raise her and watch her growing. I absolutely understand, why she bluntly refused to see the man, coming from the dark and claiming to be her biological father.

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