Although, I did watched, this story more than twice, yet I did not get it clearly; why her mother was repeatedly telling, her in such a manner, she was an illegal child. However, it was quite obvious, if her step-father treated her very very badly for being the unwanted child in his home. Apart from she being treated like the unwanted child she was denied the basic things in her life while she grew up watching her step-brother [younger] getting all that without much effort. Basic things means school fees or extra course to enhance her skills, which she needed to be normal in the society. Not just that, she was vanished from all the family pictures too.
It was years of watching them treat her so poorly and badly made her feel like a rejected person in her own home by her loved ones. One day, Neha visited her mother, after two years, when she needed help from her mother, to pursue her study; which was already denied from them turned out so bad, the situation took such wrong turn, it ended up killing Neha her own parents.
The boiling point, in this all, was some time ago Neha had married a guy, Abhishek the step brother of her best friend Seema. He was equally abusive to Seema. Besides all other things to treat her badly, he also used to sexually abuse her in the name of teaching her some family manners. As Seema, occasionally used to snap back towards her step-mother, and then she used to tell it to her son and then he used to go to the the kind of extremes, only a man like Abhishek can understand how and why side of it. One day Abhishek, took the unwanted benefit from Neha, when she was waiting for Seema, in her house and then raped her. Neha, had no option but to marry this guy. He belonging to the lower caste or so the family of Neha did not allow for this marriage but to Neha the decision was already made. Abhishek had raped her, so he had to marry her too. When Neha visited that day to her mother she wanted to tell so many things that went in her life in these two years and also the truth about her marriage and rape. Just then her mother snapped, “you must have invited it.”
While I was watching this, story narration on the television, I was so thankful, that I was not raised by such parents, especially mother, to go through such situations; as I am not known to have tremendous patience to tolerate, such kind of abusive behaviour on me not even by parents.
This was very disturbing story, its not easy to shake my head and forget it, in a matter of days, and then move on in my life. Then it pulled me back in my memory lane. I have my share of experience living with an illegal child, not only in Bal Mandir, but I also shared a room with her for about two years, when I was in college.
Thank God for our growing up process in Bal Mandir is ten times better than any family like this. We become tolerant towards any kind of background of a person and do not judge them; the way, people judge them in society. Beautiful part of it was, we were not raised to treat anybody, like the girl [Neha] was treated in her own home by her own parents. This was the best part of being grown up in Bal Mandir. We give a damn to the fact, who is legal or who is illegal even today not just when we were in our teen and innocent years. Such upbringing can only happen in the family, as they say it, in society. Personally speaking, me, not being a social animal, can say it so proudly, society my foot; where people judge other people, purely, based on their backgrounds. Society is filled with fake and pretentious people, who form the opinion not what i think but how they think.
First time, when I heard about she being illegal child, is long before, I even knew the meaning of illegal and to go and see it on dictionary. A housemother must have mentioned about it, which one, I really cant remember now. But the word illegal stayed in my head and somehow I figured, it must be some thing not good.
In Balmandir we call our inmates from all kind of possible nick names. like lean, thin, lanky, fat, fattu, black, blacky or find your own nick names so I used to call her Bhote, I used to call her this way for so long, when I wanted to change it, by calling her in her real name it was she, who was not comfortable. so I still call her Bhote.
She was a child of a domestic maid and the father of the child was her master. She kept Bhote, with her until she was about five or six, but when it came to her whole future she could not keep it with her for long and then admitted her in Bal Mandir. However, she had been working on the same house. When Bhote was left on the Balmandir, she was posted in Bombay house of the same master, where her mother was required to do only dry works.
I did not like Bhote’s mother. She was not the joy to be around, as she was hungry for sympathy and scared to death that her daughter will end up like her. Now I understand it, but then I did not get it; why ?, instead it only irked me to the max, why she was so finicky about Bhote’s boyfrined, which she had, when she was only in 10th grade.
I used to tell Bhote, how I felt about her mother, and she used to say to me, that she to was not comfortable some of the things about her [ teenagers they do not like their parents, even if they meant the best for them]. There was no mention about her father, never ever. As for the Bhote, she knew only what was said to her. He died, when she was very young. But the truth is she is an illegal child. But her visiting relatives leaked the information to the staff, although, her mother was tight lipped about this bitter truth about her life. There fore, I get it, now; why her mother used to behave strangely towards her only boyfriend ? It was hard to have answer then, when I myself was in my teen years. There were so many dots, which now finds it link so easily, but then..... it was not easy to link it to the missing points to make a full connection to all the given dots, which I have already got, and which was always there right under our nose for us to link it.
Bhote’s boyfriend was very decent and sweet guy, It was he, who sent her school and then picked her fees and her room rent as well as food cost during her stay with me. However she was a beauty without a brain. All the educations, she got in her life but she became exactly like her mother, ended up being a domestic maid. What a wastage of education. No body needs to go to school and then college to be a domestic maid. She did marry the same guy whose name is Amrit. He was a national champion on the swimming and used to teach, the then crown prince Dipendra Shah also. Today, they are still married and they have two college going children now.
The stark difference, between two illegal child here, is one who was raised by her parents in the cozy and comfort zone called home, ended up killing her own parents due to harsh abuse, which she had to go through out her life... but my room mate in Bal Mandir and during my college, found a man of her dream, much earlier and marry young to become the youngest looking mum. There are people, who still tells us in vauge but different language, that we are out of the society, we are some body not at par with them.
Again, I say this loudly, society, my foot.
Good news for Neha and to us who are looking for better society to live our life always is, Indian court gave bail to her and her case is under the court. She was not punished for life sentence, for what she did and may be out from spending her whole life behind jail if, only if; she gets good lawyer to defend her in court. Her logic to defend her was.... they always said “I was an illegal and unwanted child, so I did the illegal and unwanted work.” One police personnel asked her, “why did not you reported, about the abuse on you ?” she replied that, “parents are the face of God, so you don’t complain about them, not even to God, right ?”
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