I am so sorry

Sunita Giri 11:01 PM |


There was times, when people used to ask me about my father or mother and my response used to be, “I don't have”, which reacted prompt response from them and that too inevitably, “I am so sorry.” That response really unnerved me, for so long; but I used to swallow that unwanted concern from people. For me, not having parents is the biggest boon and gift from God and all they could muster is, I am so sorry !

Why sorry ? was that for my state of condition ? Why is that expression, I did not like that reaction, long before even I realized my condition, as a gift from God. But then, leave my reasoning habit, especially at odd time and when its most unwanted, behind. There are some reasons that might help you to understand, why that simple sounding concern has power to unnerve me.

Some time ago, I read in newspaper that fifteen year old girl was raped by his father. When I posted it on my Facebook with a comment, you see, this is the reason I consider myself lucky, because, I don't have father like him. It sure invited comments from my readers, one of them posting that, not every father is like him, maybe only about ten percent is like him.

Then there were news about a father who killed his two daughter because he was poor and could not think of raising them. Really, he was poor or his mentality was poorest to act something like that ?

In 2010 the world was shaken and then frozen with the news, when a father, had raped repeatedly who was kidnapped when she was teenager and kept her in incest and fathered four child with her. All this time, forget police could not found her, what is more hard to believe is that her own mother was clueless about what he did to her daughter. Really ?

Okay, I don't want to argue on this, believing this kind of things happens in every family around the world.  Just about ten percent only, right !

By now, my readers know this fact very well that I am hooked to crime patrol an indian show in TV during recent years. I was watching  show on TV,  it was about a father who was so abusive that he used to terrorize his own son, so much so that due to the fear of being beaten mercilessly, the young boy drank toilet cleaner; which ultimately took his life. The boy was about ten years old, and was living with his father after the divorce. It was the father's decision to keep the boy with him, and not to send him with his mother.

Okay, I agree this kind of cases does not happen regularly and happens in just about ten percent of family only in world wide.

Some time back I was watching Satyamev Jayate a talk show by Amir Khan. I switched it off bit late, so, I missed half part but I guess; I got the full picture. Program was based on the alcoholics, so a man was talking choking under the immense pressure of his tear. He did tried, really hard to hold it; so that he won't break in front of camera. He was a journalist before and then at a time he was chronic alcoholic; who did not eat anything but just drink and drink. Now, he had recovered from alcoholism, and had not touched any in ten years, married with the woman who helped him recover from alcoholism, who taught at the rehab where he was admitted. He is still not in contact with his parents and have not spoken to them for long time now. It started long before, he started drinking; at one point, he shared in front of the camera, one of his parents said, “ I curse the day, you were born.”

I can understand why it hurt so much, when someone who once loved you so dearly said something like that. But in my case, as I grew up in Bal Mandir I could retaliate easily something as nasty as that line and shake my head immediately and not be that hopeless case of alcoholics.

Okay, fine, this kind of things does not happen in every family just about ten percent of family world wide, right.


The other day the same show was airing a story of Neha* who hailed from small town Sarangpur, had killed her parents, who treated her as if she never belonged to this family, however her own brother Saurav* was treated like a prince. Her parents was very reluctant to pay for her school fees and some other extra thing that she needed in her life. She was never ever in the family picture and in her father's will or anything. She did not belong to anywhere and anyone.

Okay, accepted this kind of things does not happen in every family just about ten percent of family world wide, right.

Its not that everything goes wrong in family where parents have bad intention. Some time back, I was shocked to see one loving father emphasizing his bright school girl to work so hard and promise to top the class with 98%, instead of 89%. He loved her so much, so he wanted all the best thing for her in future and she loved him so much, she could not think of disappointing him with the opposite. One day before her final exam, she could not take it anymore so, she committed suicide. Loving parents who wish all the time best and word so hard than the children can meet the expectations is also not fun to have around.

Okay, accepted this kind of things happens in just ten percent of family only.

Then there are parents who force their children to marry the person of their choice and leaving the love of his/her life behind, because they have seen it all and been there and they know a lot better what is good and what is bad in life. At one time, a couple in India, went in total shock to learn that, its their daughter who was planning to kill them and her only brother, because they were against the boy she choose for herself and she could not think of spending her life with anyone but him. However the boy by now was married to other women due to societal pressure yet the incident happened.   

Okay, accepted this kind of things happens in just ten percent of family only.

And then there are news about a mother who made her two teenage daughter to share bed with a baba, so that if they do so; their life will be better and the all the problems in their life will vanish, just like that. There are people who abuse their child daily and the cases don't even see the days light, saying its family issue and personal matter. It only makes to the news or police case when the situation becomes out of control.

Okay, accepted this kind of things happens in just about ten percent of family world wide, right.

People who grew up in family, repeatedly tells me that, its very very important to have parents; so that one can experience love and know how it feels. I am still not convinced about it. I think taking care of a child and raising them properly is nothing more than animal instinct. I can't help feel sorry for the person who says this to me. I guess this person must have missed the chance to see a documentary about penguins. Penguin couple goes to extreme measure, to protect their egg in rotation, and then how impressively raise its young chick in that cold Antarctica. Why then, wonder what humans do to raise their child ? What good they do than penguins, to raise and take care of their own child ?

I am lucky that I don't belong to any of the above family. I am sorry, for all those who have gone through this kinds of incidents in their life by their own family members. the near and dear ones. I am not sorry for my condition instead, I am so thankful for who I am, where I am and how I am. For me, the grass is not green, in other side of the pasture.

Note : *crime patrol show changes the name due to privacy reason.



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