Are we cursed ?

As a girl, who grew up in Bal Mandir the biggest children home in Nepal, I have huge impact in my mind as being treated like a cursed child. As if, finding ourselves in that kind of condition was all our mistake, mistakes of past life.

This believe, is mainly came from the maid nannies and and other junior staffs at the orphanage; who strongly believed in this notion, and while they chatted in their gatherings, we young children just grasped it and long before we understood it from 360 degree, our young mind soaked it all up in our young subconscious minds forever; making this believe, like ours won as time flew by.

'We are cursed children.'

As an adult a friend of mine, Manjita Shrestha, who is married to one of my childhood friend Sanu Babu Shrestha voiced it, in strong and clear words “ yes, you people are unlucky and cursed that is the reason no one can do any good work that will last for long."

I asked her in return, “Okay, I believe, what you are saying; but tell me one thing, we are unlucky because we don’t have our parents with whom we can turn if in case we face any problem even a financial problem - the major reason we always blame for our frog like progress - but you have both of your parents, why your luck is not touching your unlucky husband ? why he is so unaffected by you being luckier than hims or us ? why he has to struggle so hard to meet ends meet ?

She stared me quietly for long time, but my question really silenced her, for really long time.

My other childhood friend, Junu Tamang, who landed in the orphanage, after her mother died in six months giving birth to her last doughter. Her mother had been abandoned by her father, when she was pregnant with his 5th child; to marry another woman.

Junu Tamang, now mother of two college going children, strongly believe that notion saying “...of course we are cursed”. I am going through this kind of tough times simply because, my father or grand father did something, they should not have done. That is the reason, I am not going to do any thing that is going to cause my children any harm in thier future.

How come an adverse situations, like lack of finance, being abandoned by the parents or death of single or both parents or the being the victims of the natural disaster have anything to do with the innocent children ? and they being treated like cursed child ?

Is the notion of curse is just an individual believe ? Until the other person has his opinion, I hear and then understand its full meaning, which thoroughly changed my childhood believe.

When the father of Tirtha B. Tamanag and SanuMaya Tamang died , their mother could not think of staying in her village, so she headed toward the city and started working as a maid in a family. Luckily, the lady happened to work in the orphanage, so she got the two children admitted in her office. Their mother remained faithful to the lady and stayed with her until her two children were out of the orphanage.

After completing their education, they settled in the Kathmandu and during one of their visit in their village, one of Sanus’ uncle jokingly said “... you know the death of your father was the reason you two are educated and living in Kathmandu, he died right on time”, unlocking all the doors; otherwise would have been closed for you two, like the other children of this village.”

“I am not saying, his death did not bring any difficulty in your life...” she turned toward their mother and continued … “but the end result is not that bad, right he looked for her nod.”

When Sanu told me this conversation; this worked like a third eye opener. It thoroughly shook the believe what I grew up hearing with and what other children like me adopted it making it like our own believe in due course of time, ‘we are cursed children’.

Some death: does unlock some doors for many and some death does become shackles for some people, it is purely individual believe how we take it and want to take it.

Today, after his share of struggle Sanu Babu Shrestha runs his own printing business, June Tamang got married and take pride in being able to send her own two children to college against all odd and Tirtha B. Tamang has been teaching in school and SanuMaya Tamang is also happily married with two daughters.

Today, when I think, ‘we are cursed’ is the believe that the illiterate nannies and the junior staffs at the orphanage injected in our young minds and this is totally disrespectful thoughts towards all the people who worked so hard to provide us the good shelter, food and made sure that we get good education also, so that we can be independent and support ourselves in future.

I wonder, why they did not taught us to be thankful toward those people who did all this for us.

Personally for me, a curse is a word(s), believing in its notion; is a pure curse.

~ end ~